Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
Evening massage - 6 p.m.
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.
Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's use the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs.Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's Club. All ladies wishing to become "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him.
After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
Agnostic: If those Christians would stop building such large and fancy buildings and give the money to the poor, it would be more to their credit.
Christian: I've heard that remark before.
Agnostic: Indeed! And by whom, may I ask?
Christian: Judas Iscariot.
"Our church should be air-conditioned," snapped Mrs. Smith. "It is unhealthy for people to sleep in a stuffy room."
We've been letting our six-year-old go to sleep listening to the radio, and I am beginning to wonder if it's a good idea. Last night he said his prayers and wound up with, "And God bless Mommy and Daddy and Sister. Amen-- and FM!"
The sermon went on and on and on in the heat of the church. At last the minister paused and asked what more, my friends, can I say?"
In the back of the church a voice offered earnestly, "Amen!"
Q: Did you hear about the dead angel?
A: He died of "harp failure."
Melba: The King of England struck one of my ancestors on the shoulder with the tip of his sword and made him a knight.
Pam: That's nothing! My grandfather was walking next to a new building when one of the carpenters dropped his hammer. It struck my grandfather on the head and made him an angel.
One day a little girl was visiting Sunday school when her teacher asked her to which denomination her relatives belonged. "Is it Baptists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Seventh-day Adventists, or Methodists?"
The little girl replied, "I think they are six day atheists."
Atheist: Do you honestly believe that Jonah spent three days and nights in the belly of a whale?
Preacher: I don't know, sir, but when I get to Heaven I'll ask him.
Atheist: But suppose he isn't in Heaven?
Preacher: Then you ask him!
"Does your husband attend church regularly?"
"Oh, yes. He hasn't missed an Easter Sunday since we were married."
A tramp knocked at a farmer's door and asked for some food.
"Are you a Christian?" asked the farmer.
"Of course," said the tramp. "Can't you tell? Just look at the knees of my pants. Don't they prove it?"
The farmer and his wife noticed the holes in the knees and promptly gave the man some food. As the tramp turned to go the farmer asked, "By the way, what made those holes in the seat of your pants?"
"Backsliding," said the tramp.
I don't mind going to a church service in a drive-in theater. But when they hold the baptisms in a car wash, that is going too far!
Q: When you have 50 people, all of different opinions, what do you have?
A: A Baptist church.
A Presbyterian minister was about to baptize a baby. Turning to the father, he inquired, "His name, please?"
"William Patrick Arthur Timothy John MacArthur."
The minister turned to this assistant and said, "A little more water, please."
First Minister: That's easy. Anybody knows we Baptists got started with John the Baptist.
Second Minister: You are wrong. The origin goes back a lot further than that. Don't you remember when Abraham and Lot were surveying the land of Canaan? They walked together for a long time, over the hills, across the streams, through the valleys. Then Abraham said to Lot, "All right, you go your way and I'll go mine." That is when the Baptist denomination got started.
One Sunday morning while driving home from church, little Johnny said "Mom, what's the highest number you've ever counted to?"
His mom said "I don't know, what's the highest you've ever counted?"
Johnny said "3642."
His mom asked "why did you stop there?"
Johnny said "Because church was over."
A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around.
"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd----no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.
"A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again.
Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age.
"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man?"
The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay. He kneeled down, leaned over the injured and said in a solemn voice:
"Under the B....4, Under the G....51 ."
A mother was teaching her three-year-old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end.
"And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."